Thursday, July 3, 2014

Brain Spit: Dating

There's this person I like. Like, REALLY like. They're smart and gorgeous and funny and passionate and kind and we've been talking for hours every day and really enjoy spending time together. So CLEARLY the logical next step is to...pretend we like each other way less than we really do, because that will prove how much we really, truly care for one another! Right? RIGHT?!

Does this sound insane to YOU? Yes? Then explain to me why you and I and everyone on the planet continue to follow and perpetuate this idea that showing real emotions will drive people away! Are we THAT dead inside as a people that FEELINGS – those things that tell us when things are good, bad, painful, scary, fantastic – ARE HORRIBLE?

Who started this trend of 'playing it cool'? At one point, this was advice given to women to not seem desperate...because men should only want to marry women who show little to no interest in them. Now it's transcended all genders and sexualities to the point that everyone is looking to be loved, but is not willing to love in return.

I understand the need to be cautious. I definitely understand the desire to protect oneself after being hurt in a relationship in any way. But at what point did we as a society decide that we were not good enough to be loved and therefore had to lie about what we felt (in addition to what we looked like – but that's another blog post for another day) in order to be considered “normal” or “worth it”? And more importantly, why are we OK with this??

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